Reborn with a Shaolin Staff

A modern failure wakes inside a Shaolin temple, issued a staff that behaves less like wood than like a system with opinions. The monks expect discipline. He arrives with jokes, hunger, and a talent for standing exactly where the martial world can see him. Cultivation and appetite pull in opposite directions, and the temple notices. / He can pretend to be the holy man the robe suggests, or admit that the power in the staff answers both prayer and wanting. Enemies outside the gate will not care which lesson he claims to have learned. They will care what the staff does when he stops laughing.